What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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