What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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