What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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