What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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