What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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