What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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