What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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