What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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