What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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