What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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