What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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