What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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