What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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