What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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