What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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