What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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