What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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