What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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