What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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