What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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