What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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