What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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