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What did the necktie say to the hat?
You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A dino-sewer.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?
By renaming it Trump University.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?
They stamp their feet.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you make a rock float?
Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.
I have to say it got very animated.
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