What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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