What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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