What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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