What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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