What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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