What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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