What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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