What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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