What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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