What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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