What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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