What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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