What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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