What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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