What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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