What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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