What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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