What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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