What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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