What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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