What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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