What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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