What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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