What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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