What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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