What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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