What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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