What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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