What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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