What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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