What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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