What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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