What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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