What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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