What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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