What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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