What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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