What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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