What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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