What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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