What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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