What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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