What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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