What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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