What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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