What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.

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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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