What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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