What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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