What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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