What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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