What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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