What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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