What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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