What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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