What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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