What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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