What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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