What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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