What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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