What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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