What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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