What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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