What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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