What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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