What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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