What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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