What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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