What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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