What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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