What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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