What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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