What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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