What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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