What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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