What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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