What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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