What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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