What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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