What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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