What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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