What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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