What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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