What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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