What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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