What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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