What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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