What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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