What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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