What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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