What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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