What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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