What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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