What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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