What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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