What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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