What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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