What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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