What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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