What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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