What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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