What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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