What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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