What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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