What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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