What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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