What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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