What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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