What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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