What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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