What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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