What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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