What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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