What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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