What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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