What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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