What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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