What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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