What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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