What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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