What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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