What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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