What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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