What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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