What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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