What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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