What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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