What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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