What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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