What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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