What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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