What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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