What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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