What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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