What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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