What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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