What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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