What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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