What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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