What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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