What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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