What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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