What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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