What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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