What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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