What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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