What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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