What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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