What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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