What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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