What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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