What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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