What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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