What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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