What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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