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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?
A swordfish
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?
Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?
6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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