What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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