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What did the painter say to the wall?
I got you covered.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?
You go to the Library!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It’s Hans free.
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Why did the thief take a shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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