What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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