What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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