What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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