What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
Canvas not available.

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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