What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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