What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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