What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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