What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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