What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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