What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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