What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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