What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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