What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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