What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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