What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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