What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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