What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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