What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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