What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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