What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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