What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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