What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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