What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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