What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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