What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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