What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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