What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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