What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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