What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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