What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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