What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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