What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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