What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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