What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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