What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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