What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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