What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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