What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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