What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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