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What did the peanut say to the walnut?
Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"
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Why does cheese look sane?
Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?
Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
Because deep down, they're really good people.
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