What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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