What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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