What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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