What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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