What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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