What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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