What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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