What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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