What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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