What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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