What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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