What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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