What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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