What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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