What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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