What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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