What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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