What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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