What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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