What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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