What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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