What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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