What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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