What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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