What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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