What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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