What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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