What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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