What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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