What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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