What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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