What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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