What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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