What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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