What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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