What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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