What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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