What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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