What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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