What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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