What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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