What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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