What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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