What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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