What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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