What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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