What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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