What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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