What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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