What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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