What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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