What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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