What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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