What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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