What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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