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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?
Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
Plug its nose.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
New Jersey got to pick first.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Both of them.
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