What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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