What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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