What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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