What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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