What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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