What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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