What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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