What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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