What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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