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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my i's on you!
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What has four legs but never stands?
A Chair!
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What goes up and down but never moves?
Stairs.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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What has holes all over and holds water?
A sponge!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?
A ferrous wheel.
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Where do you put barking dogs?
In a barking lot.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.
'It's not unusual' he replied.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?
"The erection is rigged!"
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What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin sea.
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