What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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