What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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