What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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