What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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