What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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