What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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