What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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