What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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