What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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