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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?
She wanted to reach the high notes!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?
Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
A spelling bee!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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