What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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