What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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