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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?
A buck.
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
Saint Nickel-less.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?
The batter.
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What does the toast wear to bed?
Jammies!
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Which is the most religious cheese?
Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?
Because he was bald!
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