What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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