What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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