What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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