What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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