What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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