What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."

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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh

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