What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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