What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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