What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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