What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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