What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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