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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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What does the winner of the race lose?
His breath.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?
Half a worm.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A taxi driver.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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