What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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