What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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