What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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