What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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