What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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