What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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