What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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