What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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