What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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