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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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Why did the cow go to outer space?
To visit the milky way.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?
Santa paws!!!
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the student eat her homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the drum take a nap?
It was beat.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave a little wine
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