What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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