What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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