What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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