What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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