What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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