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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?
[A Condesending con descending]
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?
Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?
Cause your the only one Hair.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.
But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.
It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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