What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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