What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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