What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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