What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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