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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?
Hey, bud!
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What bone will a dog never eat?
A trombone.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me
Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?
By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
Mummies!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?
Because he traveled a lot.
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?
Because he is so cool!
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