What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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