What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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