What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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