What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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