What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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