What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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