What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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