What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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