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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?
Count Quackula!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?
Railroad ties.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A watch dog.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,
I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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