What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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