What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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