What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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