What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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