What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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