What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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