What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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