What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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