What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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