What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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