What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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