What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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