What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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