What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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