What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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