What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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