What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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