What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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