What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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