What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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