What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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