What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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