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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?
Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?
That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
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Why do ducks fly south?
Because it's too far to walk!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.
It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?
Answer: The back of his head.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.
They keep dropping their trunks.
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