What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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