What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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