What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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