What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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