What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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