What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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