What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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