What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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