What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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