What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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