What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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