What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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