What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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