What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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