What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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