What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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