What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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