What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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