What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."

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