What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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