What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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