What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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