What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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