What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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