What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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