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What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Where do mice park their boats?
At the hickory dickory dock.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?
A Dogwood
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What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?
A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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