What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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