What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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