What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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