What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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