What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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