What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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