What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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