What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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