What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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