What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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