What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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