What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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