What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.

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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.




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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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