What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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