What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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