What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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