What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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