What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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