What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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