What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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