What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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