What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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