What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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