What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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