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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
HeHe
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?
Silverware.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?
The Elfabet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane
but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?
A fire cracker
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?
ICE ICE Baby......
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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