What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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