What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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