What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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