What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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