What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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