What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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