What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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