What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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