What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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