What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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