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What did the snowman say to the customer?
Have an ice day!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do cars go for a swim?
At the carpool!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?
A river.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?
Laboratory Retrievers
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