What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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