What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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