What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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