What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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