What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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