What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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