What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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