What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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