What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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