What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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