What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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