What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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