What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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