What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.

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