What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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