What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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