What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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