What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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