What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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