What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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