What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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