What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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