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What did the snowman say to the customer?
Have an ice day!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?
No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?
Pupperoni.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?
There are footprints in the butter.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the picture say to the wall?
I've been framed.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?
You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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