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What did the snowman say to the customer?
Have an ice day!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?
They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?
It was in a jam!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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