What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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