What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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