What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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