What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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