What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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