What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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