What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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