What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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