What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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