What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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