What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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