What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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A seal walks into a club...
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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