What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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