What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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