What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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