What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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