What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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