What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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