What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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