What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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