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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?
Quark!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
A lawn moo-er.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb
None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?
None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?
CoFe2
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.
It's a total rip-off.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?
A coat of arms.
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