What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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