What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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