What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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