What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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