What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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