What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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