What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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