What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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