What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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