What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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