What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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