What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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