What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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