What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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