What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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