What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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