What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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