What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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