What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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