What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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