What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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