What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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