What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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