What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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