What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"



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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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