What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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