What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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