What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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