What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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