What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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