What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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