What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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