What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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