What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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