What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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