What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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