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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?
No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"
Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you give a lemon in distress?
Lemonade.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane
but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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