What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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