What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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