What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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