What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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