What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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