if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
or
Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
or
She kept running away from the ball.
or
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
Lemonade.
or
None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.
Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
or