What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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