What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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