What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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