What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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