What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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