What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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