What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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