What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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