What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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