What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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