What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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