What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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