What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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