What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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