What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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