What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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