What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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