What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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