What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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