What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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