What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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