What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer

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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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