What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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