What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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