What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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