What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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