What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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