What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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