What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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