What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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