What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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