What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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