What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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