What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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