What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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