What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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