What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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