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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?
They are both rolling in the dough!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?
A hush puppy.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
Is that you mommy?
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
To see time fly.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?
A dino-sore
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What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?
Because of the bark
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