What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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