What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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