What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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