What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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