What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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