What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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