What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"

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