What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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