What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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