What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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