What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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