What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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