What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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