What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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