What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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