What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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