What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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