What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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