What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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