What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.

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