What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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