What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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