What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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