What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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