What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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