What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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