What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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