What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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