What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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