What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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