What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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