What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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