What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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