What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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