What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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