What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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