What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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