What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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