What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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