What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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