What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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