What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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