What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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