What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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