What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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