What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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