What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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