What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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