What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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