What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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