What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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