What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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