What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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