What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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