What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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