What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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