What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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