What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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