What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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