What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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