What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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