What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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