What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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