What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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