What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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