What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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