What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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