What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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