What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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