What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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