What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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