What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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