What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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