What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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