What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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