What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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