What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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