What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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