What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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