What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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