What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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