What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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