What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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