What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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