What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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