What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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