What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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