What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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