What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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