What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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