What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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