What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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