What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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