What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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