What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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