What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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