What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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