What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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