What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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