What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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