What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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