What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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