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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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What's a royal pardon?
It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?
A dead centipede.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?
The Trump Card
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed to be trimmed.
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