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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?
Chips AHOY!!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?
C over lambda.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No I deer
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns
they always take things literally.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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