What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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