What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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