What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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