What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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