What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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