What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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