What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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