What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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