What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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