What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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