What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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