What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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