What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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