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What do bees do with their honey?
They cell it.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?
Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?
A piano.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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