What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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