What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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