What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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