What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.

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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".

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