What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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