What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.

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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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