What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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