What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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