What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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