What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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