What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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