What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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