What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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