What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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