What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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