What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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