What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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