What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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