What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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