What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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