What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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