What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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