What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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