What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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