What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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