What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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