What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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