What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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