What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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