What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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