What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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