What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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