What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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