What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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