What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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