What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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