What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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