What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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