What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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