What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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