What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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