What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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