What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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