What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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