What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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