What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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