What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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