What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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