What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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