What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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