What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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