What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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