What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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