What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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