What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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