What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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