What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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