What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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