What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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