What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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