What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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