What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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