What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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