What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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