What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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