What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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