What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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