What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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