What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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