What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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