What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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