What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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