What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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