What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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