What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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