What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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