What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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