What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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