What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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