What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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