What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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