What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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