What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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