What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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