What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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