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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
They're both extinct.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?
Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What type of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What did one hair say to the other?
It takes two to tangle!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,
and then it dawned on me.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?
Because each player raises a racquet.
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I tried nutella on some salmon
got salmonella.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"
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Dorian Gray Jokes,
they never get old!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?
In Washington, D.C.
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