What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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