What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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