What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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