What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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