What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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