What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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