What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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