What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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