What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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