What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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