What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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