What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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