What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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