What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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