What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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