What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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