What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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