What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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