What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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