What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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