What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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