What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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