What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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