What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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