What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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