What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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