What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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