What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.


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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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