What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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