What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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