What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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