What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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