What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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