What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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