What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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