What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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