What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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