What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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