What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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