What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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