What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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