What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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