What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!


GOOD		CRAP

or

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

Silent night!


GOOD		CRAP

or

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Plug its nose.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Because it goes good with chips.


GOOD		CRAP

or

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Not enough sand.


GOOD		CRAP

or

The caterer.


GOOD		CRAP

or

An onion


GOOD		CRAP

or