What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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