What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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