What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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