What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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