What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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