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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why is a skeleton so mean?
He doesn't have a heart.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A Doberman.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?
Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?
Porkchop
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What do you call two banana peels?
Slippers.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?
Breaking up is hard to do.
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