What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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