What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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