What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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