What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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