What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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