What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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