What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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