What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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