What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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