What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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