What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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