What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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