What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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