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What do envelopes say when you lick them?
Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
Because he's Haydn.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?
With a Tuba glue.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?
Glass flippers.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
I scream!
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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