What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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