What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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