What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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