What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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