What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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