What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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