What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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