What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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