What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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