What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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