What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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