What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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