What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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