What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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