What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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