What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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