What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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