What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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