What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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