What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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