What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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