What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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