What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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