What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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