What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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