What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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