What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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