What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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