What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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