What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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