What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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