What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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