What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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