What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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