What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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