What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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