What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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