What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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