What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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