What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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