What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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