What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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