What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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