What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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