What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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