What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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