What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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