What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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