What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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