What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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