What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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