What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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