What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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