What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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