What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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