What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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