What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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