What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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