What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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