What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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