What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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