What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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