What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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