What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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