What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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