What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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