What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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