What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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