What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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