What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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