What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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