What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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