What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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