What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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