What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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