What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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