What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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