What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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