What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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