What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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