What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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