What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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