What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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