What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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