What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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