What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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