What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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