What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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