What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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