What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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