What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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