What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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