What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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