What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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