What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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