What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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