What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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