What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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