What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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