What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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