What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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