What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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