What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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