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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?
He was board.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:
"Pint please, and one for the road."
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Which reindeer likes to clean?
Comet
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?
To get a mini soda
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
When you're a mouse.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?
Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?
Silent night!
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