What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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