What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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