What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.


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