What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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