What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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