What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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