What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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