What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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