What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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