What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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