What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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