What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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