What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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