What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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