What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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