What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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