What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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