What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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