What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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