What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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