What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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