What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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