What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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