What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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