What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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