What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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