What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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