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What do lawyers wear in court?
Lawsuits.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.
I said, "Are you two an item?"
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
A cartoon.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;
I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".
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What did the dog say to the flea?
Stop bugging me!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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