What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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