What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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