What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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