What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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