What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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