What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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