What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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