What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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