What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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