What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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