What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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