What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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