What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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