What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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