What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.


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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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