What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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