What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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