What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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