What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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