What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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