What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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