What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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