What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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