What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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