What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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