What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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