What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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