What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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