What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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