What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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