What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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