What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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