What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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