What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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