What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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