What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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