What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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