What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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