What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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