What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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