What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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