What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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