What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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