What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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