What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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