What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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