What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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