What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

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