What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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