What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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