What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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