What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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