What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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