What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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