What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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