What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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