What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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