What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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