What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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