What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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