What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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