What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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