What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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