What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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