What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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