What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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