What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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