What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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