What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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