What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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