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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?
They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
His partners.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??
What's a light bulb?
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What's in the middle of nowhere?
The letter H.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".
I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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they never get old!
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