What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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