What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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