What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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