What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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