What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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