What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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