What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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