What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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