What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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