What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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