What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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