What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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