What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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