What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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