What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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