What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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