What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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