What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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