What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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