What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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