What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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