What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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