What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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