What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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