What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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