What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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