What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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