What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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