What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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