What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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