What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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