What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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