What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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