What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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