What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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