What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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