What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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