What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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