What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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