What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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