What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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