What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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