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What do postal workers do when they're mad?
They stamp their feet.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?
To see time fly.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?
"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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What do Russians use for napkins?
Soviets
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.
Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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