What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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