What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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