What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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