What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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