What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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