What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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