What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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