What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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