What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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