What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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