What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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