What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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