What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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