What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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