What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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