What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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