What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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