What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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