What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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