What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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