What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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