What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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