What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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