What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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