What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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