What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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