What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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