What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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