What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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