What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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