What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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