What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.

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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!

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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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