What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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