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What do postal workers do when they're mad?
They stamp their feet.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.
I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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What concert costs 45 cents?
50 cent featuring Nickelback
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Alley cats.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?
By relocating it to a casino!
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?
Five after one.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?
Halloumi.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?
O I C U R M T
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
Because there was no atmosphere.
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