What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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