What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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