What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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