What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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