What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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