What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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