What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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