What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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