What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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