What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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