What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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