What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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