What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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