What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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