What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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