What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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