What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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