What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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