What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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