What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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