What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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