What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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