What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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