What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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