What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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