What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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