What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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