What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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