What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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