What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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