What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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