What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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