What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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