What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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