What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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