What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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