What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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