What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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