What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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