What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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