What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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