What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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