What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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