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What do Santa's elves drive?
Minivans.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?
Hair Force One!
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Why did the TV cross the road?
Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
There was an empty seat.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.
I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?
H2O.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?
Got two fives for a ten?
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What is the strongest animal?
A snail because it carries it's home.
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