What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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