What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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