What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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