What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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