What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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