What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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