What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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