What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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