What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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