What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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