What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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