What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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