What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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