What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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