What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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