What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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