What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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