What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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