What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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