What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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