What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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