What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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