What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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