What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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