What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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