What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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