What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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