What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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