What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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