What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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