What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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