What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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