What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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