What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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