What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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