What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.

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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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