What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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