What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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