What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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