What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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