What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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