What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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