What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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