What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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