What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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