What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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