What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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