What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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