What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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