What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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