What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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