What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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